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JofusThaniel
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Name: Jofus
Gender: Male
Interests: Interests? Well there's the 0.9% APR...
There's also that thing about the music and the comedies and the blah diddy blah diddy blah.
Expertise: Der... I'm an expert at aggravating LorY. Makes for a full time job and is quite fun.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  jofusthaniel
Yahoo:  jojobear2010
Member Since:
3/2/2005
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| I've followed Aaron's lead and created a WordPress blog. It's not all quite up yet but there are three new posts to find there. Check it out, let me know what you think. I kinda like it better than Xanga so far.
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| Yay! It's Halloween!
Some costume ideas that I came up with for LorY:
- A bakery. Show up to the party wearing a shirt that says 'La Mexicana Bakery -- Home of the Best Buns in Town (and the Cinnamon Rolls Are Verrry Nice Too)'
- Chukki. Show up with a dog bone in your mouth and pee on things and bark bloody murder at all of Khatii's boyfriends.
- An angel. Blah! But it's what she wanted. I wanted no part of it. Unless of course, it was a stripper angel, then maybe.
- A song. In particular, The Eagles' "Witchy Woman." This is the costume she ended up using. She looks like a witch costume that didn't really try (i.e. just the hat) but the attached mp3 player with the song on constant loop is the finishing mark. Some lady at WalMart is gonna end up using it too. She laughed far too hard when I gave LorY the idea.
Costume ideas that I came up with for myself:
- Poor Underpaid Graduate Student. Der. Self-explanatory. Cop-out costume.
- Pimp Jason. A regular hockey goalie mask and a purple pimp hat I found at WalMart. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the purple cape or the cane. Imagine how fun that would be instead of watching Jason stab people he just whacks them to death with his pimp cane (but very slowly).
- Retired Superman. Superman, broken and beaten, overweight and just a tad nearsighted. By this point, he's done with spandex and prefers an ill-fitting T-shirt and jeans. However, he still wears the cape except now it looks like it's been shrunk in the wash. (This was accomplished with a child size Superman cape.)
- Teddy. Teddy's not a costume, per se, but more a character that I created about a month ago when I was still coming out my creative funk. Teddy's 22, autistic, and doesn't say much. Also, Teddy loves Superman, hence the child size cape.
Check back for pictures of my child's size cape later, possibly.
Looks like this Halloween is the year of the concept costume for me. Let me know what you're all going as or if you have any creative costumes of your own. I'm still deciding between Retired Superman and Teddy. For now, I'll just spend the rest of the day in my child sized cape. :)
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| Sometimes I worry about spontaneous combustion.
There are times when, just sitting at home watching TV, my ears go beet red and flame up well beyond my normal body temperature.
Sometimes I worry about spontaneous combustion.
There are other times when my back or chest exudes heat that LorY can feel from nearly a half foot away.
Sometimes I worry about spontaneous combustion.
I worry about becoming my own walking effigy.
Sometimes I worry about spontaneous combustion.
There are times when it feels as if my head is steam-filled and ready to go like a bag of Jiffy Pop.
Sometimes I worry about spontaneous combustion.
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| I don't go to McDonald's much and when I do I don't pay much attention. But today was different. It turns out now instead of getting soda with a Happy Meal you can order milk or juice. I know this has been around awhile because I had heard about it but again, not much attention was paid. The bitter fact of it is, the absurdity of the whole thing was kind of lost on me. But let's examine...
Is soda obviously the reason why your kid's becoming a sugar-laden, preservative-caked, mammoth of a child when you keep allowing him to shove nondegradable beings formerly known as potatoes and completely malnutritious slabs of fried beef or pale wads of what used to be part of a chicken down his/her throat? Yeah have some milk, that'll keep the diabetes away.
LorY pointed out that the milk bottles are known as 'Milk Jugs' so that oughta be more satisfaction for you pervs out there.
As you know, because I've written it here prior, LorY and I have started going to church. More and more, I find us getting involved in social order (with my part being mostly involuntary). On that note though, we started to attend some seminars on how to make our marriage better. While this could be perceived as counseling, it's nothing that was neccessary on our part, keep in mind, but rather just a pre-emptive thing that we went to because some people suggested that it would be a good way to make sure our marriage got off on the right foot. As with most things, I followed for lack of anything better to do and so I wouldn't have to hear about my lack of support later.
Turns out this Love and Respect seminar is a big deal.
You'd never know from watching it though.
Main point of these things is that like most marriage counseling sessions/seminars.... here comes the big surprise.... men and women are different! *The Shock!* In this case, men need respect while women need love. Thus you should solve all of your problems by being a pussy and throwing everything out in the open.
Case A: Your wife is upset that you forgot to get her a new toothbrush at the pharmacy.
Fix it: "Honey, I'm sorry if my lack of memory capacity makes you feel unloved. I will try harder in the future"
Case B: Your husband is upset that you won't make him a sandwich at midnight.
Fix it: "Darling, I'm sorry if my unwillingness to feed your gluttony makes you feel disrespected. I will feed your face at any time in the future"
That's it. That's the solution to so many marital problems. People have testified that it works.
However, for LorY and I it's become a long running joke. For instance...
LorY: Babe, your lack of willingness to cooperate with the silly things I make us do make me feel unloved.
Me: The fact that you don't ask me or really give me an option to get myself out of these things makes me feel disrespected.
LorY: I'm sorry you feel disrespected. Is there anything I can do to correct it?
Me: Grab me a beer from the fridge.
LorY: I could, but the fact that you could not get it from the fridge yourself makes me feel unloved.
Me: That you would not get me a beer from the fridge is disrespectful.
Both: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
The most interesting part of the Love and Respect seminars however, have to be the videos though. In one, the wife of the minister/pastor who designed all this mess is speaking about a man's need for sexual satisfaction. She claims it is a God-given need and that to deny a husband that need would be in some way denying God. So in essence, she claims a wife needs to give it up whenever a husband wants it or face the perils of Hell. But then...
Woman: And women, don't forget your sons are men too.
Me: ... (raises an eyebrow)
Woman: Men with the same needs as your husband.
Me & LorY: HUH????
Woman: How would you like it if your daughter-in-law denied your own son a basic need?
Me & LorY: Ohh.....
Me: That sounded like it was just about to get really weird.
LorY: Tell me about it!
Me: Uh, I think I'd rather not.
I was walking through campus the other night, talking on my cell with LorY, walking while looking down as I tend to do when I'm on the phone. I looked up and was instantly approached by a stranger, a hint of ice on her breath, as it was cold, extending in her hand, a bag of Fritos.
Stranger: Here.
Me: ... (raising an eyebrow) ... Hold on, B. (to LorY)
Stranger: Go on.
Me: ... (thinking of running away)
Stranger: Just take them. It's okay. (much as a child would say to a stray)
Me: ... Sure okay ... (grabs the bag)
Stranger (walking away): Good luck on your midterms!
And just like that, in thirty seconds I had the weirdest moment on campus in the three years I've been here. And a bag of Fritos, and a Blow-Pop, and a pencil.
I should've never looked up.
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| Was reading this earlier today and it reminded me of something that happened to me the other day. Quite disturbing.
Ever since I knew the DS Lite was coming out, I had been going on and on about it to B-Rob. Then they finally came out and he snatched one up within a month of release. Having just had the wedding, things had been rather tight around the wallet. Also, not being an early adopter of any system, I decided to wait until news came of any glitches and problems one might have. However, everything went out the window when I got one for my birthday (see earlier blog post). Anyway, it's always more fun to play co-op and head-to-head than solo (does anyone else think Zelda 4 swords should have waited to be specifically created for the DS?) so we do that more than we probably should.
So anyway, the other day we're at work and decide to find a set of tables on campus that we could use to enjoy the day and play some DS. Hooked up MarioKart and had a race of it. Until someone came up behind me. I feel someone kinda leaning over my shoulder and I immediately think, "Oh crapola!, the boss found us!" and then realizing the boss doesn't much show up to work or leave his office when he does. So I turn around and...
Me: What the hell? (questioning, not angry)
Guy: Oh sorry.
Me: Huh?
Guy: I just wanted to see what game you were playing.
Me: Uh... MarioKart (*internalized* but you could have just asked).
Guy: Oh ok... sorry if I surprised you.
Me: Uh... sure.
Guy leaves.
B-Rob: Who was that?
Me: I dunno, some random guy. TAKE THAT DONKEY KONG YOU STUPID ARSEHOLE.
B-Rob: Oh ok. I thought that was just one of your students or something.
Me: No, just some random guy. Some random creepy guy who just wanted to know what we were playing.
B-Rob: Well that's weird.
Me: At least he wasn't leaning on you...
Somebody has to come up with a rule set. Where's our Miss Manners?
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